You can’t make deep change without processing your mother / father complexes!

by | May 01, 2021

You can’t make deep change without processing your mother / father complexes!
You can’t make deep change without processing your mother / father complexes!

Even though we’re much more than the product of our upbringing, our parental complexes sit at the core of our psyches.

A complex is the part of your subconscious that organizes your experiences, perceptions, and reactions around a central theme.

Your mother and father constitute one such underlying theme.

You can have positive, negative, or combined complexes.

But guess what.

A positive mother / father complex can be just as problematic as a negative one!

While a negative complex (from an absent, emotionally unavailable, passive, critical, or abusive parent) can instill negativity toward yourself, a positive complex can cause you to lack the constructive self-criticalness required for true growth.

It can also cause you to automatically conform to authority figures which can block you from discovering and developing who you really are.

Screwed if we do, screwed if we don’t?


It doesn’t matter what kind of complexes you have because they’re all equally rich in the raw materials you need to awaken and unfold your life’s purpose.

In fact, the reason we have these complexes is to unsettle life in order to push us to grow into our true selves.

Start by asking yourself these questions:

What kind of relationship did you have with each parent?

How does each parent live in your psyche; how do their attributes manifest in you—either in the way you are, or as a troublesome part of your mind?

Which of your thoughts / feelings are your inner mother’s / father’s?

If you want to begin to process your answers, try this:

Choose one issue and create an inner dialogue between you and the parental voice.

Talk to the part, and then listen for its responses (or playact the parent and respond).

Use it to learn and grow!

Dr. Zwig
©2023 Dr. Adam Zwig

Meet Dr. Adam Zwig—psychologist, musician, podcaster, author, and educator. He holds a PhD in clinical psychology, has had 9 Top Ten hit singles on the U.S Adult Contemporary charts, and is an internationally renowned workshop leader and lecturer. He has been featured on Billboard, SiriusXM Radio, CBS Radio, and many other stations, and in People Magazine, SPIN, Pollstar, and many other publications. Dr. Zwig has released 7 albums, and his music can be heard on National TV, including NBC, Fox, and Fuel TV. He has more than 160 million views on YouTube, over half a million social media followers, and has scored in the top 10% of rock artists streamed on Spotify in 2022. His forthcoming book, Your Problem Is Your Teacher, shows how life problems are not pathological but rather personal growth processes trying to happen. His podcast, The Dr. Zwig Show, posts new episodes every Wednesday.

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