Even though we’re much more than the product of our upbringing, our parental complexes sit at the core of our psyches.
A complex is the part of your subconscious that organizes your experiences, perceptions, and reactions around a central theme.
Your mother and father constitute one such underlying theme.
You can have positive, negative, or combined complexes.
But guess what.
A positive mother / father complex can be just as problematic as a negative one!
While a negative complex (from an absent, emotionally unavailable, passive, critical, or abusive parent) can instill negativity toward yourself, a positive complex can cause you to lack the constructive self-criticalness required for true growth.
It can also cause you to automatically conform to authority figures which can block you from discovering and developing who you really are.
Screwed if we do, screwed if we don’t?
It doesn’t matter what kind of complexes you have because they’re all equally rich in the raw materials you need to awaken and unfold your life’s purpose.
In fact, the reason we have these complexes is to unsettle life in order to push us to grow into our true selves.
Start by asking yourself these questions:
What kind of relationship did you have with each parent?
How does each parent live in your psyche; how do their attributes manifest in you—either in the way you are, or as a troublesome part of your mind?
Which of your thoughts / feelings are your inner mother’s / father’s?
If you want to begin to process your answers, try this:
Choose one issue and create an inner dialogue between you and the parental voice.
Talk to the part, and then listen for its responses (or playact the parent and respond).
Use it to learn and grow!