Psychology has it wrong by viewing the inner critic as a purely negative feature of the psyche, something to get rid of by silencing it.
Nowadays there are a 101 techniques for trying to make it go away.
But your critic is the voice of your subconscious trying to wake you up in your process!
Even though it makes you suffer that’s not its goal.
It’s trying to bring your attention to the changes that need to happen in your life.
It’s an unconscious energy and therefore doesn’t know what it wants; it’s simply driven to irritate you.
Think of it as a child trying to communicate something without being conscious of what it needs.
You’re the parent who has to decipher the meaning.
To do this you have to engage with the critic, not try to zap it away.
Start by distancing yourself from your self critical thoughts by imagining them being spoken by another person.
Visualize this figure.
Then, talk back to it.
If it’s mean and hurtful, fight it! Tell it to shut up!
But don’t stop there.
Go further into the dialogue and try to determine if the critic has any kind of valid message.
Search for what’s motivating it, and explore what it really wants from you.
Is it there to provoke you to step into your power by fighting its power?
Is it there to show you what you need to improve about yourself?
Is it a fearful part of you that criticizes as a way to get your attention and hopefully your help, guidance, and reassurance?
Is it putting the spotlight onto a specific issue you need to process?
For example, if your critic says “You’re behind everyone” (career, relationships, having children, accomplishments, etc), don’t just let this beat you down.
Take it as a sign that you need to wake up about something in this area of your life.
You may need to take more action toward your goals, or you may need to get stronger in standing against ideas of what you should do that are wrong for you.
Your critic is simply an obnoxious, ignorant sage poking you where you need to grow. : )
Its words are hurtful but the underlying process contains gold!