It’s even more powerful than fate itself.
The problem is that we’re often not conscious of who’s talking—which part of our psyche is mouthing off.
We just unconsciously identify with it, and suffer the bad effects—depression, anxiety, frustration, anger, violence, addiction, etc.
Sometimes the negative talker isn’t even consciously apparent to us. An example is when someone says they’re depressed “for no reason.”
To break the cycle, we have to hack into and expose our internal dialogue.
The first step is mindful awareness: We aren’t the talker or even the thinker; we are Awareness.
Use your awareness to observe and study ‘who’ in you is talking.
Don’t just work on how you criticize yourself, identify which part of you does this.
Is it your internalization of your father, mother, sibling, friend, partner, teacher, boss, co-worker, or the collective mindset of your culture instilled in you and amplified in the media?
The second step is to talk back to the talker.
Engage. Tell it to shut up. Say, “ouch,” if it’s hurtful. Then listen to its nasty reply. Then, Challenge it. Debate it. Maybe even learn something from it. But don’t be in the dark with it.
The third step is to replace the talker with a lover. Talk to yourself with the love that people you love bring out in you.
Be the loving gatekeeper between yourself and your critic.
This will require a combination of strength toward the critic and love toward yourself.
Return to this process daily, and you’ll develop a more positive internal relationship.