Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love.

by | July 22, 2019

Talk to yourself like you talk to someone you love.
Self talk is a powerful determiner of how we feel in life.

It’s even more powerful than fate itself.

The problem is that we’re often not conscious of who’s talking—which part of our psyche is mouthing off.

We just unconsciously identify with it, and suffer the bad effects—depression, anxiety, frustration, anger, violence, addiction, etc.

Sometimes the negative talker isn’t even consciously apparent to us. An example is when someone says they’re depressed “for no reason.”

To break the cycle, we have to hack into and expose our internal dialogue.

The first step is mindful awareness: We aren’t the talker or even the thinker; we are Awareness.

Use your awareness to observe and study ‘who’ in you is talking.

Don’t just work on how you criticize yourself, identify which part of you does this.

Is it your internalization of your father, mother, sibling, friend, partner, teacher, boss, co-worker, or the collective mindset of your culture instilled in you and amplified in the media?

The second step is to talk back to the talker.

Engage. Tell it to shut up. Say, “ouch,” if it’s hurtful. Then listen to its nasty reply. Then, Challenge it. Debate it. Maybe even learn something from it. But don’t be in the dark with it.

The third step is to replace the talker with a lover. Talk to yourself with the love that people you love bring out in you.

Be the loving gatekeeper between yourself and your critic.

This will require a combination of strength toward the critic and love toward yourself.

Return to this process daily, and you’ll develop a more positive internal relationship.

Dr. Zwig
©2023 Dr. Adam Zwig

Meet Dr. Adam Zwig—psychologist, musician, podcaster, author, and educator. He holds a PhD in clinical psychology, has had 9 Top Ten hit singles on the U.S Adult Contemporary charts, and is an internationally renowned workshop leader and lecturer. He has been featured on Billboard, SiriusXM Radio, CBS Radio, and many other stations, and in People Magazine, SPIN, Pollstar, and many other publications. Dr. Zwig has released 7 albums, and his music can be heard on National TV, including NBC, Fox, and Fuel TV. He has more than 160 million views on YouTube, over half a million social media followers, and has scored in the top 10% of rock artists streamed on Spotify in 2022. His forthcoming book, Your Problem Is Your Teacher, shows how life problems are not pathological but rather personal growth processes trying to happen. His podcast, The Dr. Zwig Show, posts new episodes every Wednesday.

DISCLAIMER: The content contained herein is for inspirational, educational, and entertainment purposes only. Nowhere in this Blog does Dr. Zwig diagnose or treat a viewer with any kind of psychological, mental, emotional or physical disorder as might be diagnosed and treated by a personal psychologist or other professional advisor. The content is not intended to be a substitute for working with a therapist but is for the purpose of educating the viewer about new approaches to working on personal problems. Viewers should use this Blog at their own risk, with the understanding that Dr. Zwig is not liable for its impact or effect on its users. Viewing this Blog does not form a practitioner/client relationship between the viewer and Dr. Zwig. Dr. Zwig is not responsible for any action taken by a viewer based upon any information in this Blog. Never disregard professional medical advice or stop taking psychiatric medication based on something you have read on this Blog without a doctor’s supervision and ongoing therapeutic support. Dr. Zwig is an educator, author, and life coach in the U.S., and a psychotherapist in Switzerland. He holds a PhD in clinical psychology. He is also a rock n roll musician.